Tag: autism

  • Damn My Sensory Issues

    It is a bit intimidating trying to be active in the DIY scene, knowing that I can’t really go to shows. A lot of people say if you want to make friends in the scene to go to a show. Except I cannot go to a show alone without someone with me to make sure I am safe.

    I just see pictures from shows and see all the people and think, “Wow, I would not have handled that.” Having autism is not fun in these spaces when I am very hypersensitive. I enjoy listening to music by myself in a silent room, but a show has a ton of different sounds at once, and I’m sweaty. I end up not focusing on the music. I am very much at the back of the show, away from the action, so I can zone out and stim while listening to the band. When I do go, my battery is drained to nothing, and I am a zombie the next day. It takes a lot out of me.

    But this is if I go to a larger venue. A lot of the shows near me are in small places or house shows. I have never been to a house show because I do not know how safe it would be for me. The show I went to at my local record store was too much for me. I don’t know if I could handle someone’s basement.

    I love the music and art that comes out of these communities, but I feel I cannot really make friends because I can’t attend the events. I could attend for a little bit, but I fell fast before I had to leave. I’m not talking like I am uncomfortable. No, I am talking about a full-blown meltdown with self-harm behaviors. Leaving me at the show puts me in literal danger.

    My sensory processing disorder is something I have to make sure the person I am going with takes very seriously.

    The scene puts a lot of pressure on going to shows and stresses me out because I can’t handle it, but I really want to talk to people about the music. Which leaves me to online forums, but then I get crap for not going to shows. So…

    Yeah. It is tough.

  • My Brain And Art

    my autistic brain having a special interest in art

    I would say modern to contemporary art is a special interest of mine. It has affected my life choices. For instance, the path I chose for my college education. There are going to be visual studies at Temple this fall.

    How has it affected me consuming art?

    I get totally obsessed. I mean I made this blog to talk about it. Not only do I have to know the history, but also how it was made, and I try to recreate it by learning the techniques in my own art. It keeps me up at night. I can spend hours just sucking in a piece trying to analyze the tiniest sections. It is my life. Like I love learning about non-representational art. I am a very design-oriented person, and I can really spend hours researching a piece.

    Some things I can go on about are the impressionist being inspired by Spanish painters for their looser style. I can go on and on about Marcel Duchamp and dadaism. Currently, they are hyper fixated on dadaism right now, for instance. Talk about the history of college art. There is a lot.

    I cannot be normal when I see an artist’s piece I have been studying, because I get really excited about it. I will talk my mouth off if I get the chance to talk about a movement I have been studying. It can get exhausting because of how much it consumes me. That is why I say it is a special interest, because of how much it affects my life. At least it gives me a ton of inspiration.

    screenshot_20251110_151543_photos5528791059678041108